3 months - hmmmm.....

As I approach the beginning of three months until graduation, I am tinged with sadness. I remember all of the things I have done and are yet to do.

I feel a little strange now, as everyone keeps referring to us year thirteens as "the role models of the school". It makes me feel as though everyone is watching us students like hawks or something, it's a little disconcerting.

But in a way I'm glad that we are considered role models, because I can show others the same respect and love that this school has shown me over the past 4 or so years.

Now more than ever I understand the importance of "knowing yourself". As the end of life as I know it approaches, I now get why everyone is telling me "sort it out before you leave!"
Probably because after Graduation, we won't have others to rely on to sort out our stuff for us.

Things are now more confusing than ever. What I once thought was a life I wanted does not only seem so far off into the distance, it just doesn't seem so appealing anymore.... Really, I just don't want to be a slave to the unknown. I'm one of those people that enjoys being "in the know" and likes to have an opinion. This month though, this "attitude" has placed me in the middle of an EXTREMELY awkward situation.... I watched a relationship (which I had faith in, and I don't normally have faith in love seeing as my own relationship ended this month too) end very messily, and after all this time, I still feel sad about it. Considering one told me they were going to break up with the other waaaaay before they ended it, and I didn't warn them.

But all is not lost however, now that we're in the holidays, I have two weeks to be as crazy as I want and no one can tell me to stop. Damn it's good

Anyway, until next month, stay awesome!!!!
Tessa

4 months........... Really?!

Whoever said that 6 months is a very long time, obviously didn't keep themselves very busy now did they?

It is now approximately 4 months until I graduate and I am FREAKING out!!!! I tell no lie, seriously. I am filled with sadness and uncertainly as I cast my mind to the "future". 

I use airquote things to surround the word "future" because of course, that word is open to interpretation. The future could mean an hour from now, a day, or maybe even years from this moment. 

I can't quite figure out why I am so against the future...... Maybe it's because this  illusion of the present moment is clouding my head and taking over what I know to be real and truthful. Or maybe it's simply because I just flat out don't  want to leave, because of the memories I have made and the friends that I have (somehow) managed to keep.

All I know is that when graduation rolls around, I will not feel too awesome about leaving......

I have managed to bring myself to new music....... Well actually, the French teacher at my school gave me some random artists to listen to and I AM IN LOVE!!!!!!!
Not with the teacher before I get an endless lot of weird looks from assorted people, nut with a band she introduced me to. Cocoon. They are freaking AMAZING!!!!! Just sayin'

So with all of this sadness and confusion out of my system, I shall bid you all fare thee well. 
until next month, ROCK THE WORLD!!!!
Tessa

Nervous feelings abound!

I can't tell you how intense this coming week is going to be! Well I could, but you'd probably be here for longer than you should or can tolerate (I'm not forcing a specified time limit on you in order to read this blog, I'm just saying)

So this week is going to be intense, with Roadshow coming up tomorrow, I am out of school for one and a half days. That kinda sucks though, because then I have classes for Wednesday afternoon :(

To make things much busier for me, I have an interview for a youth missionary organisation called NET which is based in Australia. This makes me feel a little tense because as I may have said, I HATE surprises. Not knowing what to expect from something just freaks me out. I'm sure the interview will go well for me, I have faith in that, it's just the feeling of waiting and not knowing what will await me that scares me the most.


Hopefully I won't be driven too insane,
Tessa

The week from hell!

This. Is. Boring.

I'm not kidding, seriously! Who thought coming in for at least two classes per day would be soooo boring.

With the Exam Assessment Period only being for the 301 and 302 classes, the rest of us have to come in for our 303 classes. Of course this for me means that I have to come in for around two hours every day, while the rest of my friends don't have to come to school at all, except for their exams of course.

Hopefully I survive!
Tessa

5 months....... Dang!

All right, here we go.....

Well this past month has been quite busy. Exams are over HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!! What a relief! But  now the hard part comes in, applying for places for universities and Halls of Residence. While I don't quite know where it is I want to go (in terms of a gap year or straight to uni), at least I'll have everything sussed and ready to go if anything were to suddenly happen. I would rather not have any nasty surprises (if anyone's actually paying attention to my mindless dribble) as I might have mentioned......... I absolutely LOATHE sudden change. While I understand that change is required to live a good life, I would rather be notified of this change and have a bit of time to think about it. Instead of having someone say to me "Hey Tessa, we're doing this now, not that". Curse the idiot that said change was good........ Oh wait a second, that was me........ Awkward!

Anyway, one huge change that will rock me to the core for a long, long time is the resignation of my dear music teacher who has taught me for the past four years. I'm rather annoyed at that because I have had many people come and go throughout these past four years, and I really felt that she would at least wait the year out and watch us graduate, but alas. That can not happen :( and well, that really does suck!

I'm sure that she will always know that Mount Maunganui College Music Department will always be her true stage!

An awesome thing that happened this month was Rhapsody Rotorua. For those that don't know what it is, basically it is a week long music festival where secondary (or high school) students from both New Zealand and Australia come together and share their love for performing music. There are two main sections, Honours, and Festival. These sections have their own ensembles, including Rockers, Jazz Combo, Concert Band, Violin Orchestra, and of course, Choir (which is why most of the kids form MMC were there along with me). There were many more music ensembles that performed on the Friday night , but me being the totally forgettable person that I am, have completely forgotten them. Sorry!

At first glance, I really didn't want to be there. Infact, I quite often contemplated stealing the school van and taking myself and my friend home back to Tauranga (the only two ointments in that plan being a) I can't actually drive and b) I'm pretty sure the teacher would've kicked my butt to Timbuktu and back).

But of course as the saying goes, "Never judge a book by its cover" (not that the festival was a book but you get the idea...... Well I'd certainly hope so anyway), I actually went away with lasting memories, a stronger and more intimate friendship, and of course, new friends.

Well my dear friends, I shall bid thee farewell and until next month, ROCK ON!!!!!!!!

Tessa

6 months to go!

Well first things first, apologies for the late start! I would've started this blog on the 31st January (which is when I started Year 13) but I only just thought of writing a blog about it, so sorry!


I originally thought about not coming to school this year, but then I realised that by coming this year, I would be making history for not only myself, but my family as well.


Okay...... So, we're in term two and I'm not entirely sure how I'm meant to be feeling right now. I mean, we have exams now and everyone's talking about next year (universities, polytechs, gap years and so forth), so I guess you could say I'm scared..... Or maybe excited? Well I'm me so I wouldn't know.....


For ages, I've always felt that teaching English would be my calling, but after discovering Jesus and Catholicism late last year, I played around with the idea of maybe communications and marketing would be the way for me.


Again, I reckon Jesus (through a friend of mine of course) had something to do with me and put the idea of NET Ministries into my mind, and after much consideration I decided I would find out more about it. I have discovered that NET seems like an awesome thing to do, so I might be off to Australia next year! Fingers crossed!


Well that's all from me (for now),
See you guys later!